Being a Teenager is Hard: Learn About the Second Largest Brain Change w/ Miriam Mandel

Brian: 00:00:00

Welcome back.

Brian: 00:00:01

My mindset explorers today's guest is truly fascinating.

Brian: 00:00:06

It's a physician and her name is Miriam and the conversations that

Brian: 00:00:12

we have breakdown disease and.

Brian: 00:00:16

The body.

Brian: 00:00:17

And more specifically, we even begin to speak about

Brian: 00:00:21

teenagers and our adolescences.

Brian: 00:00:23

And even if we are parents raising teenagers, what that means, she left

Brian: 00:00:29

the clinical practice 13 years ago.

Brian: 00:00:31

And really hell really has begun focusing on mind and.

Brian: 00:00:37

Medicine, she's got a passion to help teach teachers, educators,

Brian: 00:00:42

parents, adolescents, you and I, anyone willing to listen about

Brian: 00:00:48

what's happening on the insides.

Brian: 00:00:50

What's really happening in our body when we change.

Brian: 00:00:55

She dropped this knowledge bomb.

Brian: 00:00:57

And I need you to hear it now because when she says it in the show, it blew my mind.

Brian: 00:01:03

Adolescence is the second biggest brain development in our entire life.

Brian: 00:01:09

Second two infancy.

Brian: 00:01:11

So let's not even wait longer.

Brian: 00:01:14

Let's get into the.

Brian: 00:01:15

You're gonna enjoy this one.

Brian: 00:01:28

Hey, Miriam is so great to have you on the show.

Brian: 00:01:30

I really excited to have this conversation with you in your journey and.

Brian: 00:01:34

Be becoming who you are now.

Brian: 00:01:36

And those that might not know you are a physician used to practice.

Brian: 00:01:40

We can get into if you practice still and all of that.

Brian: 00:01:43

But I want to say first and foremost, before we get into the show,

Brian: 00:01:47

thank you so much for coming on.

Miriam: 00:01:49

Yeah.

Miriam: 00:01:49

Thanks for having me, Brian.

Miriam: 00:01:50

I'm I was really looking forward to this.

Brian: 00:01:53

Yeah I always been a big believer in the aspects of health, a

Brian: 00:01:58

and figuring out how somebody's body is potentially ill or has a disease

Brian: 00:02:04

and how we can get to healing the body.

Brian: 00:02:06

So that I, I know in my own background of healthcare and being

Brian: 00:02:09

a paramedic and working with.

Brian: 00:02:12

People and injured people on a day to day basis.

Brian: 00:02:15

Going back to the core who I was as a kid, I always wanted to help people.

Brian: 00:02:20

So I would always like to see, is that something that was a part of you and I'll

Brian: 00:02:25

get into that, but to get the ball rolling toward that direction of being a child.

Brian: 00:02:30

I have a question and it is who was Miriam on the playground?

Brian: 00:02:34

Who was she as a kid?

Miriam: 00:02:36

well, no one's ever asked me that.

Miriam: 00:02:38

I was I was a pretty, I had a pretty good childhood when I was

Miriam: 00:02:42

under 13 I think I was not real.

Miriam: 00:02:47

Outgoing, but not really shy.

Miriam: 00:02:49

So I think I and I think that's how I am now.

Miriam: 00:02:51

I'm like a, a mixture of an introvert extrover I just, depending on the

Miriam: 00:02:54

situation, I think most of us are, but I think probably more as reserved.

Miriam: 00:03:00

I was asking real deep questions at a very young age.

Miriam: 00:03:03

And I.

Miriam: 00:03:05

I don't think I, and I didn't think that I was able to speak about

Miriam: 00:03:09

it because my parents did not.

Miriam: 00:03:11

Even though like religion, wasn't a big part of our upbringing.

Miriam: 00:03:16

So there was really no talk of God, which I created my own version,

Miriam: 00:03:22

which thank God really got me.

Miriam: 00:03:24

No pun intended there, but got me through like my childhood and some of

Miriam: 00:03:28

these big questions, cuz I never felt.

Miriam: 00:03:31

I honestly never felt like anyone really understood what I was feeling

Miriam: 00:03:37

or going through at that time.

Miriam: 00:03:38

So it was just easier just to be happy and be a kid and keep it quiet,

Miriam: 00:03:45

until I hit sixth grade and then I really started questioning because my

Miriam: 00:03:49

grandfather died and I really started questioning things and didn't really

Miriam: 00:03:54

have mu many places to go with that.

Miriam: 00:03:57

And.

Miriam: 00:03:59

Until I got a little bit older, so I was just very in my head

Miriam: 00:04:02

with all that kind of stuff,

Brian: 00:04:03

yeah.

Brian: 00:04:04

I think that there's a lot of things that happen in our childhood and we're

Brian: 00:04:08

trying to find ourselves and we have a lot of curiosity and wanting to know

Brian: 00:04:11

big answers and big or answers to big questions and struggling to find those.

Brian: 00:04:18

It is very tough, and finding your own voice as a kid, as well as a

Brian: 00:04:22

teenager and who you are in the world and where you fit into the world.

Brian: 00:04:25

And that's a big message that kind of, we come out and conditioned

Brian: 00:04:29

in believing is that we have to find where we fit into the world.

Brian: 00:04:32

And that's interesting, right?

Miriam: 00:04:34

Yeah.

Miriam: 00:04:34

I love that.

Miriam: 00:04:35

You said that's so true.

Miriam: 00:04:36

And that's part of my mission is to get to get kids into teens to understand

Miriam: 00:04:42

that's not really true, that they are who they are and that's who they are.

Miriam: 00:04:46

And.

Miriam: 00:04:47

That's what they should be savoring and exploring and bringing out because

Miriam: 00:04:53

it's just as good as anyone else.

Miriam: 00:04:55

It's just as good as anyone else.

Miriam: 00:04:57

So that's a I like that.

Miriam: 00:04:59

That's an interesting point that you.

Miriam: 00:05:00

Brought that up.

Brian: 00:05:01

Yeah.

Brian: 00:05:02

It's something I think we'll probably get into later in the show, especially into

Brian: 00:05:06

the message of what you're doing now.

Brian: 00:05:07

And I really want to get into the weeds of that, but to help us along this journey

Brian: 00:05:12

of your life's development as we're being a child what did you fill your time with?

Brian: 00:05:16

What was some fun activities that you enjoyed as a kid?

Miriam: 00:05:19

I, since I.

Miriam: 00:05:22

before I remember I was very much into horses.

Miriam: 00:05:25

That was my passion.

Miriam: 00:05:26

That was my pastime.

Miriam: 00:05:29

Growing up, like in middle school, elementary school the

Miriam: 00:05:33

kids did sports and I would just come home and be with my horse.

Miriam: 00:05:37

I had a couple friends that were had horses in my neighborhood,

Miriam: 00:05:40

so we would go riding.

Miriam: 00:05:43

We did horse shows every weekend.

Miriam: 00:05:45

We we would take 'em down to the stream.

Miriam: 00:05:47

I lived in long island at that time.

Miriam: 00:05:49

We would take 'em down to the stream and just, play like I look back and

Miriam: 00:05:54

I'm like, oh my gosh I'm glad I did such crazy things with my horse, and

Miriam: 00:05:58

it's a miracle that I'm still alive, but I don't know you get through

Miriam: 00:06:01

it, cuz they don't have that fear.

Miriam: 00:06:03

They don't have those fear, so yeah, I did spend, I spent a lot of time.

Miriam: 00:06:07

I was also a tomboy.

Miriam: 00:06:08

I love to be in trees.

Miriam: 00:06:10

I love to climb trees.

Miriam: 00:06:11

Like I was whenever I was outside, we had this tree outside that.

Miriam: 00:06:15

I love to climb and that would be my place if I was outside.

Miriam: 00:06:19

And there wasn't anything specific to do, I'd be up in the tree.

Miriam: 00:06:21

And then otherwise I'd be with my, my, my animals.

Miriam: 00:06:25

I'm a big animal lover.

Brian: 00:06:27

Yeah.

Brian: 00:06:27

I love that.

Brian: 00:06:28

I didn't know about the horse part of of your childhood and I think

Brian: 00:06:31

that's beautiful and I've never.

Brian: 00:06:34

I'm trying to think back here.

Brian: 00:06:35

I don't think I've ever ridden a horse.

Brian: 00:06:37

So I'm probably missing out on a whole gamut of emotions and feelings.

Brian: 00:06:41

So for those that haven't what was it about horses that kind of drew

Brian: 00:06:44

you to just love them so much?

Brian: 00:06:46

What was the energy there?

Miriam: 00:06:48

Gosh.

Miriam: 00:06:48

Horses have, just like people who love dogs and, they're connected

Miriam: 00:06:51

with their dog, which I just actually in this part of my life, in this

Miriam: 00:06:55

point of my life, I love horses.

Miriam: 00:06:56

I still love horses, but my dog, like dogs are overtaken that.

Miriam: 00:07:00

But.

Miriam: 00:07:01

I think it's like, they all have such different personalities and it was

Miriam: 00:07:05

something that I really enjoyed riding.

Miriam: 00:07:08

But even to this day, it's not so much about the riding.

Miriam: 00:07:11

It was just taking care of taking care of them.

Miriam: 00:07:13

And then we had so much fun.

Miriam: 00:07:15

It was just fun to ride.

Miriam: 00:07:16

Go on trail rides, do crazy things.

Miriam: 00:07:18

I was a jumper at one point when I was younger.

Miriam: 00:07:22

And it was like that thrill that you would get, like when you're jumping

Miriam: 00:07:25

over a really large jump you're not thinking about anything else, just like

Miriam: 00:07:29

any other kind of, high risk sport.

Miriam: 00:07:31

You're really in the moment, like it really gets you in the moment.

Miriam: 00:07:35

So I think I love that about it.

Miriam: 00:07:36

And some of the risks that I took when, not even in the ring, but like we used to.

Miriam: 00:07:42

I'm on the, in New York and we used to race cars down the highway

Miriam: 00:07:46

double yeah, crazy, no helmet and I dunno, it was just fun.

Miriam: 00:07:52

It was just fun, but yeah.

Miriam: 00:07:56

Yeah.

Miriam: 00:07:56

So I think looking back, I think that was kept me really in the moment.

Miriam: 00:08:00

And then of course, there's the showing.

Miriam: 00:08:01

We did the showing and.

Miriam: 00:08:03

And all that, and that's high energy and pretty intense as a kid.

Miriam: 00:08:07

Yeah.

Miriam: 00:08:07

Yeah.

Brian: 00:08:08

That's fascinating.

Brian: 00:08:09

I love that.

Brian: 00:08:09

You took a little wild risks.

Brian: 00:08:11

Little dangerous lived on the edge there and I think that's so

Brian: 00:08:14

funny and so true to a lot of.

Brian: 00:08:17

Kids, there's a lot of learning that takes place right.

Brian: 00:08:20

On the cusp of danger.

Brian: 00:08:22

Of leaning into something that's can potentially hurt you, but there's a lot

Brian: 00:08:27

out there, that risk balance reward kind of thing that figuring out how to, how can

Brian: 00:08:32

you do something risky but safe, right?

Brian: 00:08:36

That's where a lot of learning can really take place.

Brian: 00:08:39

And as a kid, I have to assume that energy, we don't have as much fear.

Brian: 00:08:43

We can talk into that and we just don't seem to, and that might be to the main,

Brian: 00:08:47

the brain's not as developed in that area.

Brian: 00:08:50

So fear, rationale.

Brian: 00:08:51

It doesn't happen as much, whatever be we can get into the science of

Brian: 00:08:55

it, but it's interesting to see how.

Brian: 00:08:59

That kind of goes away as that free spirited.

Brian: 00:09:02

Let's take risk.

Brian: 00:09:03

Let's step into ourselves.

Brian: 00:09:04

Let's be bold.

Brian: 00:09:05

Let's be determined.

Brian: 00:09:07

I want to do this.

Brian: 00:09:08

And then as we get into adulthood, we're lost into this and we

Brian: 00:09:11

say, oh, that's too risky.

Brian: 00:09:12

I can't start a business.

Brian: 00:09:14

I can't go do a passion of mine.

Brian: 00:09:16

I can't, it's not even talking about like jumping off a cliff, but it feels that

Brian: 00:09:20

same sympathetic that fight or flight still activates in the same stressors.

Brian: 00:09:25

That's just absolutely fascinating.

Brian: 00:09:27

So I want to know for you, as we developed, or as you developed into being

Brian: 00:09:34

an adult, what drew you to the healthcare field and wanting to be a physician?

Miriam: 00:09:39

My story, I think, is a little unique in that I never ever

Miriam: 00:09:42

had the desire to be a doctor.

Miriam: 00:09:43

No one in my family is a doctor.

Miriam: 00:09:45

My parents didn't even go to college.

Miriam: 00:09:47

My sister and I went to college and I was always interested, I think just from

Miriam: 00:09:51

a young age of having some of these big thoughts and of going into psychology.

Miriam: 00:09:58

So I was a psychology major in school.

Miriam: 00:10:02

And I always loved.

Miriam: 00:10:04

Taking care of animals.

Miriam: 00:10:06

So if anything, it would've been like a veterinarian.

Miriam: 00:10:09

Tried that didn't work because I wasn't, it, I wasn't ready.

Miriam: 00:10:13

Like I just wasn't ready.

Miriam: 00:10:14

I wasn't in that mindset of school, I was, I was in my early,

Miriam: 00:10:17

1920 and I just wasn't ready.

Miriam: 00:10:21

I tried and I did not do well at all, so I didn't really care.

Miriam: 00:10:25

And I went off into something else.

Miriam: 00:10:27

But what happened was when I was a junior in college I was going for,

Miriam: 00:10:32

I was, my plan was to go for my PhD and my doctorate in psychology.

Miriam: 00:10:35

I.

Miriam: 00:10:36

Because I was never good at school.

Miriam: 00:10:38

I never liked school.

Miriam: 00:10:40

I wasn't good in high school until I found psychology.

Miriam: 00:10:43

And then everything came into place.

Miriam: 00:10:45

My grade point average went up.

Miriam: 00:10:47

I took, I had to take two years at a community college cuz my

Miriam: 00:10:49

grades sucked during high school.

Miriam: 00:10:52

So I took two years in a community college and.

Miriam: 00:10:55

I loved it.

Miriam: 00:10:56

Like I loved psychology.

Miriam: 00:10:57

I got all A's.

Miriam: 00:10:58

There was no this was what I wanted to do.

Miriam: 00:11:01

And then I got into college and I was working on that doing really well.

Miriam: 00:11:07

And then when I was in my junior year, my SIS friend was killed

Miriam: 00:11:11

in like a freak one car accident.

Miriam: 00:11:13

She was her and her cousin were in the back seat.

Miriam: 00:11:15

It was not a very bad accident, but they both got ejected from the car.

Miriam: 00:11:19

This is before people really wore seat belts.

Miriam: 00:11:22

Especially in the back seat.

Miriam: 00:11:24

And she was killed.

Miriam: 00:11:25

And she was like my, growing up, like we went to horseback riding camp

Miriam: 00:11:28

together and we, she was my neighbor.

Miriam: 00:11:30

She was lived across the street, like two doors down and we

Miriam: 00:11:33

did sleepovers all the time.

Miriam: 00:11:35

Like we had dinner.

Miriam: 00:11:36

We were really close.

Miriam: 00:11:37

She was like a sister we did since I was born and also just a wonderful person.

Miriam: 00:11:44

She was just a great person.

Miriam: 00:11:46

And when she died I was so devastated and I was, there was so again, so many of

Miriam: 00:11:51

these deep questions and when I went to her funeral the thing that really stood

Miriam: 00:11:57

out to me and still does, I could see it in my mind now is the look her parents had

Miriam: 00:12:02

in their eye when they saw me, because I was representing her childhood to them.

Miriam: 00:12:07

I was always at their house.

Miriam: 00:12:09

She was always at my house.

Miriam: 00:12:11

And that was the pain that I saw in them.

Miriam: 00:12:18

I knew at that moment, no, I can't.

Miriam: 00:12:20

That's not true.

Miriam: 00:12:21

I didn't know at that moment, I, because it took me some time.

Miriam: 00:12:25

That's the moment.

Miriam: 00:12:26

That was the pivotal moment for me when I knew if I could do anything, I wanted to

Miriam: 00:12:31

Sue parents not so much in that situation.

Miriam: 00:12:34

It's not, I don't really, I don't deal with suicide.

Miriam: 00:12:40

I always refer suicide.

Miriam: 00:12:41

I don't work with parents of that.

Miriam: 00:12:43

I don't, that's not what I do, but it was soothing.

Miriam: 00:12:45

The parents soothing the parents.

Miriam: 00:12:47

And even when I went.

Miriam: 00:12:49

To medical school.

Miriam: 00:12:50

It was like, I wanted to, even if it was something really little that

Miriam: 00:12:54

they thought their child was ill in whatever way, and they weren't,

Miriam: 00:12:57

or their tests came back negative.

Miriam: 00:13:00

To me, that was always the biggest part of, I loved of my job is soothing parents.

Miriam: 00:13:05

And that's what I get to do every day, because most of the time, especially

Miriam: 00:13:10

with teenagers, it's never as bad as.

Miriam: 00:13:13

Parents think even if it's drugs or vaping or different things that are going on it's

Miriam: 00:13:18

usually not as bad as people make it out or even a baby, when they get some kind

Miriam: 00:13:23

of a result back and they're freaking out, cuz they don't understand it.

Miriam: 00:13:26

Having a different perspective on it and working with kids for so many

Miriam: 00:13:29

years and seeing how quickly they recover psychologically and physically

Miriam: 00:13:35

gives me that edge to help Soo them.

Miriam: 00:13:38

And that was where that stemmed from.

Miriam: 00:13:39

Unfortunately her mom died not long after, but yeah, so it was a, it was a.

Miriam: 00:13:46

Tough situation.

Miriam: 00:13:47

And yeah, but yeah, that was my pivotal moment and

Brian: 00:13:51

point of sorrow, point of sorrow of just getting into healthcare and wanting

Brian: 00:13:56

to help parents and loved ones come to an understanding and a comprehension

Brian: 00:14:02

with the things that they're facing.

Brian: 00:14:04

So that's massive.

Brian: 00:14:07

That's something you do now and still do.

Brian: 00:14:10

And.

Brian: 00:14:11

It's interesting to see how it's molded and informed into that and

Brian: 00:14:15

where we are, but was there something in being a physician that didn't

Brian: 00:14:20

feel like you were providing enough?

Brian: 00:14:23

Was the, I know you're a pediatrician.

Brian: 00:14:25

You helped the focus on children.

Brian: 00:14:28

But what was it that kind of drew you to say this chapter's closed?

Brian: 00:14:32

I did what I thought I could do in here, but I have more to do.

Miriam: 00:14:37

That was actually one particular client that I had.

Miriam: 00:14:40

And it was after I was in practice for about 10 or 11 years, 10

Miriam: 00:14:46

years, maybe I had my own practice.

Miriam: 00:14:49

And I also worked as a hospitalist, which is where you a hospitalist is

Miriam: 00:14:53

when like a patient would come in, that doesn't have a primary doctor and you're

Miriam: 00:14:58

working in the hos that hospital shift.

Miriam: 00:15:01

And you would become their primary while they were in the hospital.

Miriam: 00:15:04

And this little boy came in and he was he was little, I

Miriam: 00:15:08

think he was like four or five.

Miriam: 00:15:11

And he came in with an obstructed bowel, basically a twisted gut and very sick.

Miriam: 00:15:19

And, I never asked like the normal, like the normal

Miriam: 00:15:22

questions that doctors would ask.

Miriam: 00:15:23

I would have to obviously do a history and physical, but I would like in my

Miriam: 00:15:27

head, I'm thinking, what the hell is going on in this kid's life that he's

Miriam: 00:15:31

manifesting this blockage, like this.

Miriam: 00:15:35

This, such a severe illness, like something has to be going on with

Miriam: 00:15:39

this kid, because that's how I would think of every patient, to a

Miriam: 00:15:42

certain extent, but this kid was my pivotal, my, like where I knew like

Miriam: 00:15:46

something in, in me had to change.

Miriam: 00:15:49

And then I met his family and literally it was a divorce situation.

Miriam: 00:15:53

But it was not the parents fighting.

Miriam: 00:15:56

It was the grandparents and the grandparents literally were tearing

Miriam: 00:16:01

me in different directions within five minutes of being in their presence

Miriam: 00:16:07

and hearing what they were saying.

Miriam: 00:16:09

I, I literally had a stomach gig and that answered my question.

Miriam: 00:16:12

And I knew that, this kid wound up losing half of his bowel.

Miriam: 00:16:17

Like he, he wound up having to have surgery.

Miriam: 00:16:21

But I knew at that moment, like at that, with that particular

Miriam: 00:16:24

patient, that was my last patient.

Miriam: 00:16:27

That was my last time I went back to that job and I stayed with my private

Miriam: 00:16:31

practice for a while, but I knew that something had a change there because

Miriam: 00:16:35

I felt like, all right, so this kid is losing half his bell and he's five, right?

Miriam: 00:16:40

And we're sending him back to the same environment without any tools

Miriam: 00:16:44

like the parents have no tools.

Miriam: 00:16:45

The grandparents have no tools.

Miriam: 00:16:47

The kid has no tools.

Miriam: 00:16:50

It's just gonna manifest somewhere else.

Miriam: 00:16:51

Like being in healthcare, and it's just, it's that DISE, right?

Miriam: 00:16:55

So DISE is manifesting as disease and this kid was not eased in any way.

Miriam: 00:17:02

Except now he had probably a lot of secondary gain, not to say that's

Miriam: 00:17:06

obviously not why he did it, but there, there would be a lot of secondary

Miriam: 00:17:09

gain from his family and his, people would come together for a while and

Miriam: 00:17:14

they would be harmony for a while.

Miriam: 00:17:15

And then.

Miriam: 00:17:16

And then the normal kind of comes back.

Miriam: 00:17:18

So that was my last patient.

Miriam: 00:17:19

I remember I couldn't sleep that night because it was just hard.

Miriam: 00:17:22

It was hard.

Miriam: 00:17:23

And I made a lot of changes after that.

Miriam: 00:17:25

And that's when my journey really started in this direction.

Brian: 00:17:28

Yeah.

Brian: 00:17:29

Wow.

Brian: 00:17:29

That's a powerful and fascinating story.

Brian: 00:17:32

And you spoke on it a little bit in getting into how is this person manifested

Brian: 00:17:37

this, or they manifested this issue in their gut, that gets into a whole other

Brian: 00:17:42

gamut that most people don't even talk about, or even reflect on that the body.

Brian: 00:17:48

Can project physical manifestations, dependent upon experiences and

Brian: 00:17:54

thoughts around it that it's literally a tuning fork that can be set to

Brian: 00:17:59

certain feelings and frequencies.

Brian: 00:18:02

If you will, that will manifest into another way.

Brian: 00:18:05

Maybe it's a headache.

Brian: 00:18:06

Maybe it's a gut ache.

Brian: 00:18:07

Maybe it's S nausea, whatever it be.

Brian: 00:18:10

People don't even talk about that.

Brian: 00:18:12

And that's the westernized medicine is that we're a very.

Brian: 00:18:16

Reductionistic right.

Brian: 00:18:18

Seek a destroy, go and find the problem, take it out and fix it.

Brian: 00:18:22

Send them back on the way.

Brian: 00:18:23

There's no holistic approach there of, like you said, sending the patient out

Brian: 00:18:27

with tools, sending the family out with tools so we can avoid this for next time.

Brian: 00:18:32

That's simply fix the body.

Brian: 00:18:35

Or not really fix the body, find the problem, change it, and then send

Brian: 00:18:38

it back out can be a number of ways.

Brian: 00:18:40

So with that, I'm curious to know, how did you come into the realization or even

Brian: 00:18:47

start to find this content around the body and the disease and the process of

Brian: 00:18:53

manifesting illnesses from environments.

Miriam: 00:18:57

The first thing was, I think in that particular moment is

Miriam: 00:19:00

that I had such a bad stomach ache.

Miriam: 00:19:02

Like I, a really bad stomach ache after that night, during that night.

Miriam: 00:19:06

But.

Miriam: 00:19:08

I always knew, like it was just an innate knowing in me that was never

Miriam: 00:19:13

able, I was never able to fully explore it because obviously in medical school

Miriam: 00:19:17

and residency, you don't have really time and nobody is gonna listen to you.

Miriam: 00:19:20

And nobody at that point, especially, not that nobody would've listened to me,

Miriam: 00:19:24

but it wasn't my priority at that point.

Miriam: 00:19:26

I would just, I wanted.

Miriam: 00:19:27

I was going through medical school.

Miriam: 00:19:28

I was going through residency.

Miriam: 00:19:30

I was doing my thing.

Miriam: 00:19:30

I was learning all this new stuff.

Miriam: 00:19:32

I was interested in what I was learning.

Miriam: 00:19:34

I was loving working with the patients and their families.

Miriam: 00:19:38

But I think it was.

Miriam: 00:19:42

Really just an innate knowing that I always had.

Miriam: 00:19:45

And then when I started to see it more like in private practice these

Miriam: 00:19:49

kids would come in with these pretty basic problems, say, Like a chronic

Miriam: 00:19:54

cough say, and there's nothing we can do for really a chronic cough.

Miriam: 00:19:58

There's really not, what do you wanna do, drug your kid

Miriam: 00:20:00

up for the rest of their life?

Miriam: 00:20:01

Cause, or, you're gonna keep putting 'em on antibiotics.

Miriam: 00:20:03

I'm not a strong believer in antibiotics, especially in kids,

Miriam: 00:20:07

except when it's really required.

Miriam: 00:20:08

So we would send them what you give 'em coding.

Miriam: 00:20:10

That's so not in my, like my realm of what I believe.

Miriam: 00:20:14

So there was so much disconnect.

Miriam: 00:20:17

There was a lot of disconnect for me.

Miriam: 00:20:19

And even though I was doing some things that I loved and I was

Miriam: 00:20:21

helping, some patients with.

Miriam: 00:20:24

Simple, like someone comes in with the urinary tract infection, that's

Miriam: 00:20:26

easy, or somebody comes in with a sore throat or ear infection.

Miriam: 00:20:30

Like those are easy.

Miriam: 00:20:31

But when it comes to things that are not necessarily that easy,

Miriam: 00:20:35

there's no simple solution.

Miriam: 00:20:37

And then you're dealing with parents who are looking and expecting something.

Miriam: 00:20:40

They want an antibiotic, they want some medicine, they, and they're not leaving

Miriam: 00:20:44

without it, and then people struggle.

Miriam: 00:20:46

Like doctors struggle with that and it is a real struggle.

Miriam: 00:20:48

It's not that.

Miriam: 00:20:50

We have a certain amount of time that we get with each patient and

Miriam: 00:20:54

you can't educate them in that short amount of time of why antibiotics are

Miriam: 00:20:58

bad and how it's causing resistance.

Miriam: 00:21:00

And like we can only do so much, so some people give into it.

Miriam: 00:21:04

I decided to leave it because it just was not it just didn't go with my who I was.

Miriam: 00:21:10

Yeah.

Brian: 00:21:11

I think that's a.

Brian: 00:21:13

that's a big point.

Brian: 00:21:14

And I think that goes down to, like you even spoke about is the

Brian: 00:21:18

learning and you got fascinated with, and I'm fascinated with the human

Brian: 00:21:22

psychology and the aspects of thought.

Brian: 00:21:25

And in that people, as, for example, are coming to you for a solution for a

Brian: 00:21:31

silver bullet that is just gonna fix.

Brian: 00:21:34

All and how many people out in this world are just doing that same thing,

Brian: 00:21:38

looking for the next big thing.

Brian: 00:21:40

That's gonna revolutionize their life and change it.

Brian: 00:21:42

And it's just gonna be one simple thing that they gotta do.

Brian: 00:21:45

This is the one thing.

Brian: 00:21:46

Yeah, that's

Miriam: 00:21:46

a great point.

Miriam: 00:21:47

It's that?

Miriam: 00:21:48

That's a great point.

Miriam: 00:21:49

And I love how you're bringing that in with medicine, because

Miriam: 00:21:51

that's so obvious in medicine, like they want an antibiotic, right?

Miriam: 00:21:54

They want pain killer.

Miriam: 00:21:56

They want something and not to.

Miriam: 00:21:59

Say that, that's the way we were brought up and there's, it's not anyone's fault.

Miriam: 00:22:03

I'm not saying that there's any shame or judgment in that.

Miriam: 00:22:05

It's just, that's generally not the way that it works.

Miriam: 00:22:09

Like it's just, sometimes we're lucky and it does, but most of the

Miriam: 00:22:13

time and there's an underlying, there's something underlying it.

Brian: 00:22:16

Absolutely.

Brian: 00:22:16

And I think that's the bigger part is.

Brian: 00:22:20

we have to widen our lens and aspects of how we think about ourselves as humans

Brian: 00:22:25

and how we think about each other in the aspects of where we live, what we

Brian: 00:22:29

eat, what we do, what we think, and to think it's ironic and almost humorous

Brian: 00:22:37

in a point that we think that one simple pill can change your entire life.

Brian: 00:22:42

And that's what we've been sold and that's what society's been sold exactly.

Brian: 00:22:47

Is that, that there's just something you can take and

Brian: 00:22:49

everything will be fine after that.

Brian: 00:22:51

You don't have to worry, but we're seeing, and we're seeing this now.

Brian: 00:22:56

In modern medicine, westernized medicine, and anything.

Brian: 00:22:59

If you've ever watched a drug commercial before, and you've heard

Brian: 00:23:02

all the side effects there's literally ripple effects from one change.

Brian: 00:23:08

So take that pill.

Brian: 00:23:09

Yes, you have anti-hypertension medicine or a low blood pressure medicine

Brian: 00:23:13

that will lower your blood pressure.

Brian: 00:23:16

What else does it do, right?

Brian: 00:23:18

Is it a beta blocker?

Brian: 00:23:18

Is it gonna reduce your heart's ability to improve its heart functions?

Brian: 00:23:23

Or is it gonna reduce your fluid intake, your retention issues

Brian: 00:23:27

where you're gonna hold onto water?

Brian: 00:23:28

There's all these homeostatic processes.

Miriam: 00:23:31

Yeah, no, it's funny.

Miriam: 00:23:33

I like that.

Miriam: 00:23:33

You said that because it's not like these side effects, they're not side effects.

Miriam: 00:23:38

That's what the drug does.

Miriam: 00:23:40

A beta blocker is going to make you tired.

Miriam: 00:23:42

It's going to decrease your heart rate.

Miriam: 00:23:44

It's going to cause everything that's going to come with that.

Miriam: 00:23:48

Anti-hypertension not to say that beta blockers are bad.

Miriam: 00:23:50

Actually beta blockers are not bad, but there are some drugs that these

Miriam: 00:23:55

side effects, some people, the side effects that can't tolerate, but

Miriam: 00:23:58

they're not really side effects.

Miriam: 00:23:59

That's what the drug does.

Miriam: 00:24:01

, there're unwanted parts of the drug, but to look at them as just side

Miriam: 00:24:05

effects is really not accurate.

Miriam: 00:24:07

These are the consequences of taking that medicine, yeah.

Brian: 00:24:12

It is absolutely true is that these and I like how

Brian: 00:24:16

you highlighted that, that way.

Brian: 00:24:17

These are not in fact side effects.

Brian: 00:24:19

This is what the drug in fact does.

Brian: 00:24:21

just does this more and this is what it does.

Brian: 00:24:24

A little less . Yeah.

Miriam: 00:24:26

And the whole drug don't even start me on the whole drug company thing.

Miriam: 00:24:29

Yeah.

Miriam: 00:24:30

I'll

Brian: 00:24:30

try not to get into that.

Brian: 00:24:31

We won't get into that.

Brian: 00:24:33

So I wanna talk into moving and transitioning to this next chapter

Brian: 00:24:38

and it's fascinating and starting to treat this whole self of this parent,

Brian: 00:24:42

this environment, the teenager, the child, and getting deep into that.

Brian: 00:24:48

How did you start off in that and anybody that is now in this pivotal point, like

Brian: 00:24:53

this is a fulcrum point, a pivotal point in our lives where maybe people that are

Brian: 00:24:57

listening are saying, yes, I feel that energy, I feel that same way about blank.

Brian: 00:25:03

But it's a lot, it's a lot to stop practicing medicine for your example,

Brian: 00:25:09

and shift all the way over into this.

Brian: 00:25:11

That's a scary turmoil type of shift to a lot of people.

Brian: 00:25:14

So words of

Miriam: 00:25:16

wisdom?

Miriam: 00:25:16

Yeah, it was quite gradual.

Miriam: 00:25:18

I.

Miriam: 00:25:19

Started working in hospitals.

Miriam: 00:25:20

I started educating doctors.

Miriam: 00:25:22

I started doing lectures to nurses.

Miriam: 00:25:24

I started working with the PAs.

Miriam: 00:25:25

I started working.

Miriam: 00:25:26

I was a professor actually at at a college, a local college.

Miriam: 00:25:31

And then I started teaching at the graduate school for the PA students

Miriam: 00:25:34

because I became friendly with, I had some connections there and the the director

Miriam: 00:25:39

was leaving and he needed some of his.

Miriam: 00:25:42

Classes covered.

Miriam: 00:25:43

So I taught medical ethics for, to PA students for a

Miriam: 00:25:46

while, which was fascinating.

Miriam: 00:25:47

I loved it.

Miriam: 00:25:48

I did a lot of different things to I taught yoga for a while.

Miriam: 00:25:52

Trying to get into the mind body.

Miriam: 00:25:53

I studied meditation.

Miriam: 00:25:55

I.

Miriam: 00:25:55

I studied homeo homeopathy.

Miriam: 00:25:58

I, it was a kind of a long process, but it all boiled down to my teenage years.

Miriam: 00:26:04

And that's how, we always it's like that full 360.

Miriam: 00:26:07

I had a really difficult teenage years starting when I was about thir And I

Miriam: 00:26:12

just, all these things came to a head like we were talking about all these

Miriam: 00:26:15

big questions and, not really being, I felt like I was really being understood.

Miriam: 00:26:20

And there was really I did have a couple teachers that were

Miriam: 00:26:23

helpful that really were helpful.

Miriam: 00:26:24

Like I did not have a good relationship with my mother.

Miriam: 00:26:27

And I was, more of the rebellious kind of kid, really.

Miriam: 00:26:32

Wasn't the whole home thing was not good.

Miriam: 00:26:36

So I had my horses, which thank God saved me.

Miriam: 00:26:39

And I did have a couple teachers in my life that really helped,

Miriam: 00:26:45

but my whole, the whole.

Miriam: 00:26:48

Purpose behind this is to be that person that I needed when I was a teenager.

Miriam: 00:26:54

And I try to do that every single day.

Miriam: 00:26:57

And I just love it.

Miriam: 00:26:59

It's just why I'm here.

Miriam: 00:27:02

It's just why I'm here.

Miriam: 00:27:03

It's comes so easy to me.

Miriam: 00:27:05

Teenagers, gets such a bad rap and I'm like, oh my God, they are the easiest.

Miriam: 00:27:10

Clients to work with because they get it and they get it so fast and they

Miriam: 00:27:14

don't have all this baggage, it's like you tell 'em something, you get 'em to

Miriam: 00:27:18

feel what that feels like, and then they do it and then they get the results.

Miriam: 00:27:22

I've, I see these kids that it fascinated me to see how quickly some of these

Miriam: 00:27:27

kids could turn things around, like their whole, like their parents are

Miriam: 00:27:31

like, Astounded, and for me, I was at first too, now I just expect it.

Miriam: 00:27:36

And I know that it's coming.

Miriam: 00:27:37

Because they are they're I just, I do.

Miriam: 00:27:40

I just love it.

Miriam: 00:27:41

I love every single one of my clients.

Miriam: 00:27:42

I, I only work through referrals with individual clients because I know that.

Miriam: 00:27:49

I, I don't know.

Miriam: 00:27:50

There's just a, it just works for me that way.

Miriam: 00:27:52

It works that way.

Miriam: 00:27:53

But it's something that I just love.

Miriam: 00:27:56

I just love it.

Miriam: 00:27:57

And I feel like it's so needed and I wish that I would've had that.

Miriam: 00:28:02

And in a sense, I did have some teachers, but.

Miriam: 00:28:06

Not once that really understood, like the whole, what's going on in your brain

Miriam: 00:28:10

and why you're feeling like this and what you can do about it and how you can.

Miriam: 00:28:16

You can express yourself in a way that you know, that you're feeling confident

Miriam: 00:28:21

about because you've done the work.

Miriam: 00:28:22

That's the thing it's that's one of the reasons too about referrals is because I

Miriam: 00:28:25

only wanna take kids and work with kids that are gonna do the work and my kids

Miriam: 00:28:30

do the work and they get the results and they get them fast because they're there.

Miriam: 00:28:34

They're ready, and I, and it doesn't always seem that way.

Miriam: 00:28:36

I've had some resistant teenagers, like where the I've known

Miriam: 00:28:39

the moms, I work in schools.

Miriam: 00:28:41

So I, a lot of my.

Miriam: 00:28:43

Kids are from teachers, kids, they're teachers, kids, cuz I

Miriam: 00:28:47

work in the school districts.

Miriam: 00:28:48

I work with staff and I work with in education and I've had some pretty, pretty

Miriam: 00:28:54

resistant that did not want me there.

Miriam: 00:28:55

And then I just, but it always works out, they'll give me an attitude

Miriam: 00:28:58

for a day or two and then, like one of them that was the most resistant

Miriam: 00:29:01

is like a, but total buddy of mine.

Miriam: 00:29:03

Sometimes I pick her up from school and we go for coffee she is so yeah.

Miriam: 00:29:07

It's I love the whole coaching relationship too.

Miriam: 00:29:09

It's not, it doesn't have to be so sterile, like a doctor, where

Miriam: 00:29:14

you're this doctor and they're this.

Miriam: 00:29:16

Patient, it's just, yeah.

Miriam: 00:29:18

They're like my buddies and, I get to help them and they help me.

Miriam: 00:29:21

It's it's so fun.

Brian: 00:29:23

yeah.

Brian: 00:29:23

That's super fascinating, exciting, and thrilling to see something and

Brian: 00:29:27

see something so tied to a purpose that was needed or crucial for

Brian: 00:29:33

yourself and going back almost in time and helping and being that help

Brian: 00:29:39

in that gap that you felt you had.

Brian: 00:29:41

And like you said, you can, when you find that and you find that deep of

Brian: 00:29:45

a purpose in anything that you do, you can do it day in and day out.

Brian: 00:29:49

You can show up and you can talk about a nonstop.

Brian: 00:29:52

You you're excited.

Brian: 00:29:53

You're like I get to talk about this.

Brian: 00:29:55

And this is what I love doing.

Brian: 00:29:57

And talking about.

Brian: 00:29:58

I wanna say and maybe to help people right now, listening, what do you in fact

Brian: 00:30:05

do, what do you help teenagers through?

Miriam: 00:30:08

I think that one of the main things that I do well I think I, I.

Miriam: 00:30:13

Is really to build their true, authentic self to to have them

Miriam: 00:30:17

understand who they really are and to appreciate who they really are.

Miriam: 00:30:23

And I think a lot of that comes from really some really simple techniques of.

Miriam: 00:30:28

Making commitments to yourself, keeping them, like a lot of the same business kind

Miriam: 00:30:32

of models that you would be talking about.

Miriam: 00:30:34

I do talk a lot about the inner voice because I think that's huge

Miriam: 00:30:38

and I've done a lot of inner voice.

Miriam: 00:30:42

Things with because everybody has one I've done it with kids as young, as like

Miriam: 00:30:46

sixth grade, I've worked with gifted students and they love, and it was,

Miriam: 00:30:51

it's so interesting to have them in a group and talk about your inner voice

Miriam: 00:30:54

and, some kids are, and I just let them talk it out, but some kids are like,

Miriam: 00:30:57

oh no, I don't have an inner voice.

Miriam: 00:30:59

And and then another kid would be like that's your inner voice talking?

Miriam: 00:31:01

So some of them get it.

Miriam: 00:31:02

Some of them don't at first, but.

Miriam: 00:31:05

It's just really fun to, to be able to explore those kinds of things

Miriam: 00:31:09

where they don't talk about in school.

Miriam: 00:31:10

Like you're not gonna talk about this at the dinner table or talk

Miriam: 00:31:13

about it in school or the effects of that inner voice and what that

Miriam: 00:31:17

does to your confidence and how, our thoughts are so repetitive every day.

Miriam: 00:31:20

Most of them are negative.

Miriam: 00:31:21

Why is that what's going on in the brain when kids understand these

Miriam: 00:31:25

things, what's going on physiologically.

Miriam: 00:31:27

They, I'm saying kids probably.

Miriam: 00:31:29

Adults do too, but when they understand it, what's going on physiologically

Miriam: 00:31:34

in their brain and why they're gonna be more apt to pay attention.

Miriam: 00:31:37

And they're gonna be more apt to try to change it.

Miriam: 00:31:39

They're gonna stick with it.

Miriam: 00:31:40

I find that when they understand it, They're gonna stick with it longer

Miriam: 00:31:45

than just tell somebody, telling them something like what teenager

Miriam: 00:31:48

you tell them to do something.

Miriam: 00:31:50

You don't give them a why behind it.

Miriam: 00:31:51

They're not gonna do it.

Miriam: 00:31:52

Why would they that's part of the adolescent brain.

Miriam: 00:31:55

That's part of how they're, adolescent, the brain and the adolescent is

Miriam: 00:31:58

very specific for what it's gonna do, what works and what doesn't

Miriam: 00:32:01

it's universal, once they get that and once the parents get that.

Miriam: 00:32:06

It just causes so much more soothing than they understand it.

Miriam: 00:32:10

And they're like, oh, I don't have to fight against that anymore.

Miriam: 00:32:13

Cuz that's normal.

Miriam: 00:32:14

That's physiology, it's neuroanatomy.

Miriam: 00:32:17

It's what's going on.

Miriam: 00:32:19

And then they accept it and then it doesn't become an issue anymore.

Miriam: 00:32:22

It's it becomes an non-issue.

Miriam: 00:32:23

It's just something they need to get through.

Brian: 00:32:25

That's incredible in that ability of just you're tying a lot here and

Brian: 00:32:30

the art of mindset, and that's what the message is in this all encompassing show.

Brian: 00:32:34

And the premise of it is that inner voice and the thoughts and sliding a

Brian: 00:32:39

different lens or widening that lens or cleaning the lens and changing it.

Brian: 00:32:43

And that's the art form of the mind.

Brian: 00:32:46

that it is neuroplastic, right?

Brian: 00:32:48

It is, has neuroplasticity to it.

Brian: 00:32:50

So it can move.

Brian: 00:32:51

And mold and teenagers are probably moldable a lot quicker than adults,

Brian: 00:32:56

because there's not as much, if you would rigid plastic, that's been shifted there.

Brian: 00:33:01

It's

Miriam: 00:33:01

not so much that they're more moldable it's that they do it faster.

Miriam: 00:33:05

So we're all at that same level of we as adults, we absolutely can mold our brain

Miriam: 00:33:11

and it's just, it's neuroplastic, but.

Miriam: 00:33:13

They just do it faster.

Miriam: 00:33:14

They get things a little bit faster.

Miriam: 00:33:16

We don't have all that, that stuff piled on top of it to

Miriam: 00:33:19

have to struggle out of they're.

Miriam: 00:33:21

I don't know.

Miriam: 00:33:21

I don't know.

Miriam: 00:33:21

It's just fun.

Miriam: 00:33:22

I it's just so much fun.

Miriam: 00:33:24

And I love working with parents too.

Miriam: 00:33:25

Like I do.

Miriam: 00:33:26

I love my, the parents that I work with and when they're, when the parents are

Miriam: 00:33:30

wanting their kids to get some of this.

Miriam: 00:33:34

Even though there's a lot more resistance.

Miriam: 00:33:36

They're open to it.

Miriam: 00:33:37

They're open to it.

Miriam: 00:33:38

And they're willing to work with me through it.

Miriam: 00:33:40

And I don't work with all my parents, some of them just, and I,

Miriam: 00:33:43

cause I work with college kids too.

Miriam: 00:33:44

So some of them, I just touch base with every once in a

Miriam: 00:33:46

while, cuz they're paying me.

Miriam: 00:33:47

They're really my client cuz they're the ones that are paying me.

Miriam: 00:33:50

And I'll give them little updates.

Miriam: 00:33:52

But most of the younger kids, yeah.

Miriam: 00:33:54

I work sometimes the parent will even be in the room with them.

Miriam: 00:33:58

Like when I, I have some 10 year olds, 11 year olds and we work

Miriam: 00:34:00

together, we do things together.

Miriam: 00:34:02

We meditate together.

Miriam: 00:34:03

We have, we do techniques together.

Miriam: 00:34:05

We get them together as a group, as a couple to do things together.